Marriage is a sacred relationship and there are different concept of marriage and love in society. But does concept really matter in marriage? Osho said that what matters is our understanding in marriage. Marriage fails because we try to raise marriage to unnatural standard and then we fail to reach that standard.
Separation and divorce in marriage
Nowadays the percentage of divorce is reaching an alarming rate. Besides domestic violence, cheating and other serious issues, marriage fails for minor issues too. Lack of adjustment or finding difficulty in adjusting after marriage can also leads to divorce. Osho mentioned that sometimes marriage becomes a battlefield and both the partners tries to be Supreme. They want to be dominating, possessive, powerful over each other. When such situations arise in marriage, wife and husband pretends to be in love though they can be enemy of each other. Such marriage lacks love because none of the partner has love for each other. In the name of love, they try everything which is opposite of love. This leads to failure in marriage and finally divorce.
Marriage where people try to be dominant, powerful, lustful is bound to fail.
Because such type of Marriage has everything but love. Love is the sacred thread of Marriage. When the humanity understands love, Marriage becomes sacred. The irony of marriage is still now, many people got married due to safety and security. It is a very common psychology.
In ancient days, marriage for women is their safety and security in a male dominated society. Love was secondary and security, home, assets were primary. Still now in many marriage, love is secondary. Power, fame, security, money is primary. But doesn’t such marriage becomes ugly with time. In such marriage, the couple expects love from each other but no one has love to give. In such marriage, soon the couple realizes that they lost their freedom and then misery starts in marriage. Such marriage should disappear from society and love should bloom again.
Osho said that marriage is a serious relationship and it shows you the world in miniature form.
It is a sacred relationship and it teaches so many things of life. If you don’t know to communicate, marriage teaches communication. Marriage teaches the real meaning of love. The relationship in marriage is not honky dory but it is about serious responsibilities, duties and little joy in little things. Only a very mediocre will learn nothing from marriage.
Osho mentioned that Marriage is like a mirror and it shows your face in all aspect. . Osho correlated marriage with a plastic rose and compared love as a real rose. Because Plastic rose definitely remains the same in hot days, cold nights or even in rainfall. Not even a single petal blows away in heavy wind but real rose withers the very next day. Osho correlated marriage with a plastic rose because once one is married,marriage stays but love blooms.
Osho believed that once you learn about marriage, you can transcend in marriage.
It is not about clinging the ladder in marriage but going beyond it. When one learns from marriage, one becomes blissful and extremely maturedOsho mentioned that Marriage is the one due to which religion exists in this world. But nowadays Most of the people gets married as they cannot lead a life alone. They need someone to rely on.
Osho mentioned that ordinary marriage is an unconscious bondage. Without partner, one feels meaningless and with the partner, one feels miserable. Such situations shows that one must learn to be happy by themselves. It needs inner transformation so that one can be blissful with or without their partner. Dependency on partner creates hate in marriage. It also leads to fight in marriage. Generally, human being hates to be dependent. When you are independent in marriage, you share love and you become blissful. Again a perfect example when marriage teaches you the real meaning of life.
The next question that can arise in anyones mind Is if there a perfect marriage?Though Osho spoke about sharing love and be blissful in marriage but he mentioned that he has never heard anything as perfect marriage. Because Perfect marriage are made in heaven and no one comes back from heaven. But what we can really think as a perfect marriage? A perfect marriage is one where there is no fights, no coalition, no arguments. So, basically there will be no individuality in marriage for both men and women. They will be too sweet to each other. Such relationships are unrealistic and impractical.As per Osho, an intelligent being in marriage is the one who can live with insecurity and freedom. Then one can lead a blissful life.